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March 5, 2017


“Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it Holy.”


So, based on the Cammandment Exam, I would get into a decent college, but not an Elite Reach. The believing, not idol-ing, not killing, easy stuff is a no-brainier. Although, like Jimmy Carter, I notice females, it does not compute not to be bonded to my wife, forever. I can’t even think of lying as it would be soooo easy for me I would create stuff until a complete implosion, so that one is off the table.

I do like stuff, but not-so-much that the covet thing is a struggle, but it’s partial credit, because, well, food and drink and getting every job ever available to any architect is kinda too important to me.

That said, the Sabbath deal is an instant minus 10 points.

Yeah, not good at that. At all. Ever. Nope.

Today, a Sabbath, I can’t even ask for forgiveness in church because, well, I see 60 Chosen at the synagogue I am helping them make better. Does that make me a little, ein bisschen, like the Shabbos doctors or military in Israel who work on Saturday? No, even this shaygetz Shabbos architect is working when he works on his Sabbath.

Rules be rules, if you get the wrong answer you get no credit: so at an 85 it’s UMASS, not Harvard, for me.

Harvard may not be Heaven (try telling that to their PR machine) but I am just Puritanical enough that the weekly fudge of the core of my belief text does grate upon me.

Can’t I give it up, for more than say, one or two days out of the 52 exams I take on that Test every year?

Why do I do this? Well, I have the cultural cover that work is an unquestioned good everywhere but in that damned commandment. But really, it’s because because all failures come from effort and outcome and values being murky enough that I, and everybody I know, goes with what we know, versus what is probably, well maybe, better.

“Better” can be keeping 40 clients and 8 employees busy by working seven days a week. Better can helping those 60 folk I will see in 2 hours. Better can be making an editor happy by getting the article finished right after the meeting at the synagogue for an article that is being published tomorrow (and missing church).

I know right now, today, the “better” is the work. It may get money, but that is honestly (remember, I do not lie) Not why I break the Laws of God. I break the 1.5 laws out of 10 because I am weak.

I am not strong enough to weather the doubt of missed opportunity in the faith that 4,000 years ago something knew better than me what was the right thing to do. I know it, but I cannot help it: I write this, now, in Lent, partially as some vague atonement.

There is no vitiation. I am probably headed, ultimately, to far, far, worse than UMASS, (or perhaps, alternatively, something just a little better than Harvard), but I have to hope in forgiveness. I have to hope, as there is, ultimately, no control beyond hope.

I know that while The Commandment Test is the bottom line, I am graded on the curve of Grace. I know that no matter how hard I work, I am consigned to ultimate failure in this world – but maybe not the next.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 5, 2017 8:34 am

    For me the sabbath is practical and no longer law. Architects would all be doomed as the 70 years in Babylonian exile was computed largely on the number of sabbath years broken I believe (70 × 7). The good news is Grace is not reliant on me but it truly a gift. No one gets an A.

  2. Joseph Dzeda permalink
    March 5, 2017 9:41 am


    If you’re not going to heaven, no one else is either.

    The amount of energy you pour into the church community that you love simply amazes me. And while it may seem to be inexhaustible, since you make it look so easy, we all know that it’s not without limit.

    Here’s hoping you find at least a few minutes today to appreciate who you are and what you do for so many people.

    If that doesn’t get a guy into heaven, I’m going to Walmart to see if they have asbestos underwear in my size.


  3. March 5, 2017 9:43 am

    see if they have XXL for me, would’ya?

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