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March 23, 2017

22 of 40

There is quick distinction in caring for someone, or the alternate of being cared for.

Babies are the classic love sponges – you are grateful if they breath, eat, and poop. At a certain point the arc to maturity commences and control is simply grown into by the infant – often to the chagrin of the grownup.

Some relationships feed on mutuality: my wife and I are pretty much independant cooperators – when times require we care or do for each other we jump in, but largely the roles we have chosen are independent ones.

I know couples where one dominates, I know other families where either kids or parents set the tone.

The point is that there is flow: or there is unhappiness: you can either avoid control or need it 24/7: life sets up opportunities to excel, or a changes in circumstance that preclude confortable routine role modeling.

Right now I am largely horizontal and a zillion humans are all around me: normal, not embarrassing, and needed: next month it may be a child or an employee, or someone I work for needs attention. It seems knowing the necessitity of when care is needed and when to give care is the key to making the evolutions work, versus grind us into angry resentment.

This is not easy as the road is long, with unanticipated shifts – but it happens regardless of desire or pattern.

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