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March 26, 2017

25 of 40

Every new parent knows the terror: “It’s not Normal!”

Having been hairy eyeballed with a deeply paternal focus for 4 days, 24/7 – at first every hour, then every 2 then every 4, I can say my body temp, blood pressure, heart condition, brain function, every blessed thing except balance is “Normal”.

Given that was a hefty abnormality enuf, my guess is the 4 days attached by no fewer than 9 wires, cords and tubes made sense. Those connections between the organic and inorganic were pretty stark and their info dead clear: on average “Normal”.

Of course my body temp ranged from 97.4F to 99.6F everyday. My pressure went from lunacy at over 200 to “manageable” at under 150. I was, or soon became “Normal”. My guess is a fetal ball in a cave would have survived: but I could not know that I was “Normal” – fear would be a silent companion.

I now know I need to encourage repair: I am back on the Exercycle, typing away in silence: monitored, but doing it. I know now, like every parent whose baby beats a 104F temp that I am “Normal”.

I may be abnormally “stoic” as the Yale goddess noted with not a little disdain, but I listen – I do know – what is “Normal” and what is not, I am old enough to know change is necessary.

It is easier not to change. It is easier to stay in the cave, in a fetal position. Maybe that works out OK, but the basis is battling the unknown.

It seems better to confront and win and crouch and survive,

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