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April 5, 2017

35 of 40

We all make choices, everyday.

It’s important to be in control, to go after the desired, fight against the wrong, to do the right thing. For many, that control is central, necessary.

I stood up, quickly, a few minutes ago. The several hundred contractions, movements, reactions in going vertical all worked. I know that clearly now. I could not know that unless the stability enabled by those hundreds of wee push-pulls was missing for a while.

We have choices only because we gave givens. Of course we are fed. If old enough, we have learned enough. Our bodies do as told. Our minds actually form the desires we follow.

But the absence of capacity, the real sense of danger – really just the diminishing of choices is inevitable. We were born with only the choice of acceptance, and seeing aging, it reduces choice.

I did not choose to play football at 13 – I had to.

There was no careful balancing of options, at 16, I fully knew I had to help make things.

Then schools, marriage, children – all were simply, incontrovertibly “LETS GO”

I do not choose to write. I have to.

We want to choose. We are uncomfy accepting. There is a confidence in the power of option. But there are times, and it is inevitable, that there are fewer, even no options.

But technology is giving more ways to shut out the obvious. There are many non-options to beg off away from so many ways that you might feel compelled. First, failures are writ large in social media: Mockery is its staple, we feed on misery, we do not want the millions of electronic fingers pointed at us: so doing is not always a good idea.

But more, technology offers a harbor away from doing the right thing independent of technology. Doing good may, now, just be seeing every episode of “Walking Dead.” It may be getting to Level 345 of the game you play with people somewhere. It may be having 1,000 “Friends”. Or a deep participant in a closed Group of fellows.

None of this is new – I knew many who succumbed to Dungeons and Dragons. It’s just easier.

It is harder to know that the unquestioned desires and capacities are both unreasonable and right. Maybe it’s OK that the undeniable need to risk is not logically discerned by a thoughtful, powerful, perspective.

Maybe those choices are gifts.

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