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April 6, 2017

36 of 40

I watched an old “Law & Order” episode until midnight last night.

It was terrible.

Why? Well, it was one of a few that I had not seen before, multiple times. But it was terrible. But I had not seen it. So, I watched it.

The death throws of this video cash cow saw the last few years become faster-violent-louder-dumber begs for viewers. Humans became squawk boxes, murdered, angry. No humanity, irony or poignance – just TV.

Like all TV, that preconstruction has a brief half life: I only watched because another 20 years has been good, and wormed a foible into late adulthood. I am autonomic in not much: but Law & Order is now part of a sequence, versus a choice.

I am slight crisp this early AM. Was it a good idea? No. Was it necessary: seemingly. It was a discretion that was not an indulgence, but necessary – for a good reason: in the hundreds of shows produced, I imagine that I have not seen a few, but have seen many over 5 times: usually working out.

But my work-outs, till Easter, are silent. Last night I should have gone to bed: I am sure my body would have liked that: but the compulsion to watched the completely familiar and totally new won.

The mysteries of why this episode escaped me seem clearer: truly bad shows, like this, are, I am guessing, rarely shown, while “classics” get air time. Or not, and I have been unlucky in only being exposed to this one last night.

We do things we know we shouldn’t just because we must: the negotiations of malpractice are as pathetic as the Las Vegas ad. But I do not feel used, I feel undefendably human.

And crisp.

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