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Channelling The Inner Fascist

June 20, 2017

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10 years ago I rectified eating one extra Milano a day for 30 years (literal calorie count) and dropped 1/3 of myself. It took 8 months, but more it took irrational dedication. Ending a defendable lifestyle of eating no classic junk, but inhaling Triscuits, while working out 6 days a week required my inner Facist. https://savedbydesign.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/wal-mart-me/

I think we all have an inner Facist. The other Facists like Hitler relied on that to get power. But fat people are very used to being fat: relativism and liberal acceptance make for very bloated bodies. Bad behavior is simply explained, boxed, filed and another handful of Triscuits eaten.

Well, I have not eaten a Triscuit in 3 months. 90 days ago, exactly, I experienced a reckoning https://savedbydesign.wordpress.com/2017/04/11/thrombus/ and I reset.

The reckoning was caused by another genetic specificity other than needing very few calories to be at a constant body weight. A genetically flawed artery lost it, I lost balance, it repaired itself, but the Doctor Woman said: “get the blood pressure down”.

She also said no need for a low salt death march, that drinking is fine…but c’mon. The only obvious mechanism (because I hate drugs) was dropping the pounds put on since 2008 and working out with more insanity. Despite larding up a bit over a decade, I still fit, sort of, into my “thin” clothes and had worked out about an hour every day, minimum. But this event revealed a loss of control that proved unacceptable, and I must respond.

So I stopped (mostly) coffee, desserts, snacks, cheese, crackers, fluids with calories (except drinks), lunch and, well, anything that was sugary. And I worked out harder and longer: usually an hour and a half.

So I eat one 1,500 calorie food trough a day and add about 300 additional calorie burn (perhaps 700 total per day), losing about 3 pounds a week. I eat a little crap at parties – even lunch when it’s socially required (but have less dinner).

Mindless flow into my maw ended. No righteousness – I only needed to do this because that flow was so distractingly nice and stupid. I had to exert my will. Hard. Unforgiving. Facist.

Intolerance is very nasty when it’s imposed on other people, perhaps worse when you hate yourself. But if part of you is dangerous you kill it. Losing my 1/3 re-layering after my 1/3 full body loss a decade ago was not defendable (but it tasted and felt good).

So I am down over 30, 15 to go, heart rate in the low 50’s, pressure to 138-145 over 70’s with 10 more to kill. I have a doctor check in in 2 weeks. I will hit it hard until and after.

The soft loving explanations of fallibility are not revelations: I am human and weak. But part of me is also a Fascist. Zero tolerance, no guilt, nothing to whine about – more importantly nothing to brag about. I did not earn this, I screwed up and I am dealing with it.

“Just Do It” may be a guilt-grabbing profit-monger slogan: but it’s true: despite talk of disease and sensitivity, the bottom line for we fat comes down to shutting the pie hole: hard.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 20, 2017 8:23 am

    I know the feeling, you’ve described it so well. I’m not quite ready to jump (struggle up) onto the wagon, Soon.

  2. June 20, 2017 2:58 pm

    Congratulations! Keep up the good work.

    I lost 40 by eating using the Maximized Living approach. They actually travel with and advise our Olympic athletes, which I did not know when I started. Dr. Allie Mendelson at Talcott Family Chiropractic is the owner of a clinic in Farmington–part of a national group that advocates health through giving up sugar.

    Could not believe all the energy and sense of well being when I lost the weight–which I did not even try to lose. My body felt like it was 20 years old. Woke up every day with tons of energy and happiness. I also gave up gluten since it causes inflammation as sugar does, which leads to a host of diseases.

    My condition had been prediabetic and I also had arthritis in my hand. After the change the arthritis disappeared and the prediabetes did too. Sadly in the past 6 mo i have resorted to eating junk and have noticed a big change so must get back into that lifestyle–if only for the reward of feeling great.

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