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The Burden of Good News

October 23, 2019

It’s easy to complain.

But you can only fail if you hope to win.

We all have set up a matrix of hope, perhaps another of expectation, even a third of necessities. Life never, ever, checks off all the boxes in all the lists. Whole hobbies – golf, fishing, watching the Jets play football, are oriented around disappointment. That is why alcohol is woven into their experience. Failure is a good reason to drink.

The humanity of failure is undeniable. In sports for every win, there is a loss. In every election there is a loser. In every stock trade you are either up or down. In every purchase you either get a good deal or end up ripped off.

In fact there is an entire “Bitch” industry on the Internet, offering clever reveals of failure, reveling in these failings short.

But sometimes, sometimes, things go as hoped, even unexpectedly.

We were terrified parents. We were ever aware we were one bad choice (ours or our sons’) away from pain. Of course a few bad things happened. Things never are what you would like in every circumstance, but our children are fully launched, without nightmare, tragedy, every, really, missteps. They are healthy. They press on into their 30’s and we can now only help.

We are healthy, too – as many we know are not, to the point of death.

But these grand mal fulfillment’s are the stuff of faith and gratitude, the trivial triumphs are the ones that social media turn into absurd celebration. No celebration here, but this last week has seen things happen, that fulfill hopes and work. It is hard to deal with them.

Part of me could chest pump and declare vindication over a year or three of just paying the bills, mostly, in my small business – but I really do not have more money, just a little more to show for the work that leaves every penny pinched.

In the last month my office was honored to sign on a few jobs that many sought after, a few more jobs were green lighted after we have worked years to get to a place where the project could actually pay the architect.

In this month I gave presentations and talks that were all (all) great good things to full houses, on diverse, original topics, and was filmed, recorded, published.

Of course in the same month I was fully rejected by potential clients, editors, competition judges, even Facebook Commentators about my work.

But last night we won the smallest recognition (“Honorable Mention”) in the smallest categories (“Small Spaces’) in a National Competition that has zillions of winners amid quadzillions of entrants. Of course our other two entries lost. But one out of three, even if they are bunts, gets you into The Hall of Fame.

In a life in its seven decade, with near 40 years of love in marriage, where a friend of 50 years spends the night in our house Friday, where my only health issue is that I am a bit fat and stiff from working out to be less fat (every day), it seems ridiculous to feel some kind of justification, or validation.

But part of me does.

Onto the next failure.

One Comment leave one →
  1. David Doernberg permalink
    October 24, 2019 12:46 pm

    Well said DD – Congratulations

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