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Powerless

May 23, 2020

We ate out last night. Bliss.

We saw our friends, in person, after 10 weeks.

All sanctioned, safe, defendable.

Now the earliest Summer possible is not a switch but the first step on a ladder to some mode that all flips when 300 million vaccine doses are in our lives. Somehow I think, here or not, they will be trumpeted, and denied, by November.

What has always been tentative, conditional, even frightening – our lack of control – is our everyday of being controlled and controlling ourselves. This season now evidences our undeniable status of our inability to have faith that we will be alive 5 seconds from now. That powerlessness devolves into our participation in a worldwide Kabuki Theater of pantomimed characterizations of righteousness.

Someone felt compelled to tell me to wear a mask to a meeting. Really. Others told me “No need for the mask” when I arrived at a meeting wearing one, (and we stayed apart). We are endlessly judged and make judgments.

The default has become protocol.

And the protocol will not stop changing…

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