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There Is No Health In Us

October 27, 2020

If you are feeling fully outraged, you are full of yourself. If you are deeply, deeply hurt you are a victim. If you are loudly righteous, you are with a greater good, and you just know it. We are, mostly, hanging ten on the surfboards of our egos.

Where is the humility in all of this?

It is Crock Pot Time in America. The main ingredient is Covid19, the fear of which, or the anger over it, or your unfollowed wisdom is the roast in the pot. No matter what other ingredients are added, the overwhelming funk of fear poisons the stew.

We may have an election, a Supreme Court nomination, any number of sports, arts, education or romantic seasons – but all have gone from crock pot to pressure cooker. The meal will be terrible. I can taste it now, and I am nauseated. I even know the days, perhaps months, of indigestion that follows.

In all of this, I, and countless others know, just know that we deserve better. We know that someone, something, did this plague, this political freak show, this cultural outrage. We are hoarse being full throated, chests blooded by breast-beating, exhausted to the point of being absent humor. I want this time to end.

What, besides the litany of grievances that are unavoidable in every post, every conversation or media platform, is with each of us in this Screech Time? Well a key ingredient has gone missing.

Humility is MIA. Humility is MIA.

In each outrage, in each victimization, in each empowering justification, we, the focal point recipients and expressers of what we know and await forget that we are given life, we do not earn it, let alone make it, and certainly do not deserve what we want.

We deleted “and there is no health in us” from something some said every Sunday, because the editors of what we said thought it betrayed our possible redemption. We thought that we had progressed enough that that love of our creation was more important than our guilt in a confession.

But I know that I am, daily, “a miserable offender” – but in this Outrage Time no one believes that they are the offenders – they are either victims or saviors. At least the loudest are.

Confession has vanished, because humility has vanished. We now know, fully, that we are owed our lives and thus we are entitled to make our lives, our culture, we make we ourselves.

But soon (very soon) about half of us will be very, very wrong. Either way. The ranting and virtuosity and hate will run up against the reality of all of us, not just you. Not just me. Of course half will be justified, vindicated, empowered, even validated.

Or maybe, when the widest spread Covid Fever breaks, even the winners might see the damage done. No, not to the losers. But the damage we have done to each other, and most painfully, ourselves.

There has been no humor in these months, because there has been no charity. We are have come to be in agreement with a toast given at our wedding rehearsal dinner “May we all get what we deserve.”

We only deserve the one thing that made us, Love. God made so much complexity that in the eyes of his creations we come to believe that we are God. At least on Facebook.

Humility is a base reality, not an affect of greater ego. Humility is born of the guilt of being human, of thinking we are the center of righteousness, when we are the product of love.

Guilt is in short supply in the valley of victimhood. It is easy to believe that we deserve what is owed to us, because we have been given everything but this last few century’s illusion of control. We gave that illusion to ourselves,

Guilt is in short supply in the valley of victimhood. It is easy to believe that we deserve what is owed to us, because we have been given everything. The last few century’s technological advances simulate control enough that we think we have it. There is less prayer. There is less worship of anything beyond ourselves. The faith in control belies the reality that humans only control the edges our lives. We have no ability to fabricate joy on demand, let alone end death

If we did control things, there would be no Covid19: no impeachment/SCOTUS/election anger. We would have carefully considered options, not the clarity (and terror) of the hangman’s noose found in every new stage built for righteousness.

We would have humility.

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